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Relationship Quiz  Linkedin

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Immediately let them know exactly how I feel before they can get a word in


Get nervous and tell them how I feel straight away because I can’t bear to wait

Tell someone else about it and most likely avoid the person I have the issue with

Ask them if now is a good time to talk about my specific issue

inputNumber

1-hrr

1.1 Honoring Boundaries 

Feel like they owe it to me to hear me out because of the pain they've caused me

Feel it's only fair they listen to what I have to say and also say their piece so we can get back to normality

Feel grateful that they're giving me the chance to share my side of the story

Open by thanking them for giving me the chance to share what’s on my mind

4-eae

4.1 Expressing Appreciation:

Drop everything I'm doing and go with them to sort things out

Get nervous and stall as much as possible because I hate confrontation

Calmly handle the issue with them if it’s a good time. If not, I'll set up a date and time to talk. 

1.2 Honoring Boundaries: 

I want the earth to swallow me and run away as fast as possible

I feel like my heart will explode and I mentally prepare to defend myself

I freeze or go completely blank and don't know what to say or do

I work to relax my defenses so I can truly understand how to resolve the conflict

I make eye contact with them and take three deep breaths

1.3 Relax Defenses: 

Recently, I've been feeling _____ and I'm curious about what you're thinking?

Hey, remember when  [situation] happened? I felt  _____.

Hey, remember when you did _____? You made me feel like_____.

When you did_____, I felt_____.

2-saa

2.1 Sender Responsibility:

Try to correct the parts of their story that I don’t agree with

Begin to explain my side of the story

Ask if I can make sure I’m understanding clearly and summarize what I heard

Find I'm too overwhelmed to catch everything or know how to respond

3mae

3.1 Mirroring:

Won’t often ask directly as I find conflict difficult and/or overwhelming

Usually won’t ask to clarify because I think I can read people pretty well

Usually tell the other person what I heard, then ask, “Did I get you accurately?”

Try to talk with them about it but find I get easily upset and end up in an argument

3.2 Accuracy Check:

Never–I usually move on to the next thing immediately

I don't actually know if I do this or not

I sometimes do this when I’m interested in what they’re saying

I try to do this in most of my conversations

3.3 Expressing Curiosity

I sometimes do this when I don't think things are clear

I try to do this in most of my conversations to make sure we’re both on the same page

3.4 Summarizes:

I don’t actually know if I do this or not

I sometimes try to do this

This is something I consistently try to do

2.2 Expressing Validation:

2.3 Expressing Empathy:

Don’t know what to say because I find these conversations so hard

Feel angry and frustrated, and may even lash out at the end

Try to finish by thanking the person for listening to or speaking with me

I don’t know; I haven’t really thought about this before

4.2 Expressing Gratitude:

Never–I usually try to cover my emotions and just move on to the next thing

Never–I’m more likely to feel angry or frustrated with the other person

1.4  Regulating Overload

Bridge

Does this make sense?

(N) 1. Boundaries, defenses, overload

(P) 1. Boundaries, defenses, overload

(N) 2. Sender, Validation, Empathy

(P) 2. Sender, Validation, Empathy

(N) 3. MIrroring, Validation, Curiosity

(P) 3. MIrroring, Validation, Curiosity

(N) 4. Appreciation, Gratitude

(P) 4. Appreciation, Gratitude

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